Many of us go through life at a random pace, reacting and behaving instinctively to situations. At least that was how I had been until fairly recently. I would allow myself to bend and adjust to each situation or react wildly and madly and often I would allow life and fate and others get the better of me.
I would suffer blows, pull myself up only to suffer more blows, life was often just survived and not really lived. In fact, I strongly believed that my happiness was in the hands of another until I allowed life to be my teacher and ever since, I have learnt some great lessons. I am now slowly tutoring myself to implement these lessons as principles for a better living, and honestly, I find myself more at peace these days than I did in a long time.
1. My happiness is my responsibility.
How wonderful it would have been if someone would just take over the responsibility of doing everything possible to make you happy. It's a great dream but that's all it is, a dream. No one knows better of what makes you happy other than yourself. And no one would bother beyond a limit to ensure you're always smiling. Why? Well, that's because their happiness matters more to them than yours. So, buck up and take charge of your life. Realise that it's your own choice whether you would allow yourself to be happy or not. Whether you would allow yourself to be affected or influenced by the actions or decisions of another, by the twists and turns of fate, or even by your own moods.
2. My peace of mind is my responsibility
Believe me, no one, no matter how much they claim to love or care, no one really bothers about your peace of mind. If you are not at peace, you're the only one troubled, no one else is affected. So think long and hard before you blow out your mind's tranquility. Wouldn't it be far better to just take a deep breath, think better thoughts and move on?
3. Always ensure self respect.
Never stoop too low, never bend way over, never give in so much that you lose your own identity. It won't hurt to give in or bend over for someone who matters, especially if it makes them happy but don't lose yourself in the process. At the end of the day, if you have no respect for yourself then how can you expect the respect of others?
4. Do not be selfish. Except at times.
What goes around, comes around. Good or bad. It's great to do all you can for another, but not at any cost. Some times some things are just not worth the effort. So don't be naive, and choose wisely.
5. Give away as much love, kindness, goodness and time as possible.
It won't hurt to be kind, it definitely won't matter if you spend time with those who love and need you. You lose nothing, in fact you gain so much the more you give, but only if you give without expecting or wanting anything back in return.
There's nothing wrong in doing what you can for another, but remember, never should it be at the cost of your own happiness. Do not be a doormat.
6. There is no such thing as 'soulmates'. I belong to no one and no one is mine. There are just great companions and that too is not a necessity.
It took a while to get rid of the romantic notion that there's a soulmate out there for each and everyone. In fact it was rather a relief to realise that there's really no such thing. Some are luckier than most and get to share their lives with someone who is compatible and on the same plane. The rest just have to make do with what they get, but if our happiness and peace of mind depends on each of us then why do we need to depend on another at all? If we are with another, it should be a matter of choice, nothing else.
7. My children are my greatest priority. No sacrifice is too great if it is for them.
This is probably the mantra of every parent.
8. Accept that I am not perfect, but allow myself to be as I am. Be myself always.
Be the person that you are. Never go out of your way to alter yourself or change yourself only to suit the requirements of another, they would never understand or appreciate the effort. If you change then change for the better and only because that's what you want. Do what you believe is right and good for you be it in the way you dress, speak, behave and think. Do not allow anyone else define the person that you are. If you live on the terms of another, it should be because you choose to do so. Do not let anyone else be supreme over you. That is God's sole right.
Do not look in the mirror and find faults, look at yourself and admire what is beautiful.
Do not be afraid to reveal your weaknesses. Do not be proud about your strengths.
9. It's normal to feel angry, depressed, anxious, self righteous and many another negative emotion.
You can and probably should vent out once in a while just don't dwell on such negativity for too long. Life is too short and too beautiful to waste on such ugliness. And no one is worth ruining even a moment of your life for.
10. I'm just an ordinary person. I can't like everyone and I cannot expect everyone to like me.
Try your best to be with those who love you and whom you love. Be patient with the rest. But treat one and all with respect. Apologise if you go wrong or make a mistake. Express gratitude for everything anyone does for you.
11. Be dependent only on God and believe that you have the strength to live your life the way you choose.
At the end of the day, your life is yours alone. How you live it is your choice. Enjoy your own company and realise that being alone does not mean being lonely. In fact, you can be your best friend.
12. Always be grateful to God for the glory that is life.
God loves you. Believe that there is always a rainbow beyond the cloud. That there's always a positive side to everything negative. That everything, every single thing in life happens for your own good, because God is the way and He is the only one, who knows better than you, what is best for you.
I would suffer blows, pull myself up only to suffer more blows, life was often just survived and not really lived. In fact, I strongly believed that my happiness was in the hands of another until I allowed life to be my teacher and ever since, I have learnt some great lessons. I am now slowly tutoring myself to implement these lessons as principles for a better living, and honestly, I find myself more at peace these days than I did in a long time.
1. My happiness is my responsibility.
How wonderful it would have been if someone would just take over the responsibility of doing everything possible to make you happy. It's a great dream but that's all it is, a dream. No one knows better of what makes you happy other than yourself. And no one would bother beyond a limit to ensure you're always smiling. Why? Well, that's because their happiness matters more to them than yours. So, buck up and take charge of your life. Realise that it's your own choice whether you would allow yourself to be happy or not. Whether you would allow yourself to be affected or influenced by the actions or decisions of another, by the twists and turns of fate, or even by your own moods.2. My peace of mind is my responsibility
Believe me, no one, no matter how much they claim to love or care, no one really bothers about your peace of mind. If you are not at peace, you're the only one troubled, no one else is affected. So think long and hard before you blow out your mind's tranquility. Wouldn't it be far better to just take a deep breath, think better thoughts and move on?
3. Always ensure self respect.
Never stoop too low, never bend way over, never give in so much that you lose your own identity. It won't hurt to give in or bend over for someone who matters, especially if it makes them happy but don't lose yourself in the process. At the end of the day, if you have no respect for yourself then how can you expect the respect of others?
4. Do not be selfish. Except at times.
What goes around, comes around. Good or bad. It's great to do all you can for another, but not at any cost. Some times some things are just not worth the effort. So don't be naive, and choose wisely.
5. Give away as much love, kindness, goodness and time as possible.
It won't hurt to be kind, it definitely won't matter if you spend time with those who love and need you. You lose nothing, in fact you gain so much the more you give, but only if you give without expecting or wanting anything back in return.
There's nothing wrong in doing what you can for another, but remember, never should it be at the cost of your own happiness. Do not be a doormat.
6. There is no such thing as 'soulmates'. I belong to no one and no one is mine. There are just great companions and that too is not a necessity.
It took a while to get rid of the romantic notion that there's a soulmate out there for each and everyone. In fact it was rather a relief to realise that there's really no such thing. Some are luckier than most and get to share their lives with someone who is compatible and on the same plane. The rest just have to make do with what they get, but if our happiness and peace of mind depends on each of us then why do we need to depend on another at all? If we are with another, it should be a matter of choice, nothing else.
7. My children are my greatest priority. No sacrifice is too great if it is for them.
This is probably the mantra of every parent.
8. Accept that I am not perfect, but allow myself to be as I am. Be myself always.
Be the person that you are. Never go out of your way to alter yourself or change yourself only to suit the requirements of another, they would never understand or appreciate the effort. If you change then change for the better and only because that's what you want. Do what you believe is right and good for you be it in the way you dress, speak, behave and think. Do not allow anyone else define the person that you are. If you live on the terms of another, it should be because you choose to do so. Do not let anyone else be supreme over you. That is God's sole right.
Do not look in the mirror and find faults, look at yourself and admire what is beautiful.
Do not be afraid to reveal your weaknesses. Do not be proud about your strengths.
9. It's normal to feel angry, depressed, anxious, self righteous and many another negative emotion.
You can and probably should vent out once in a while just don't dwell on such negativity for too long. Life is too short and too beautiful to waste on such ugliness. And no one is worth ruining even a moment of your life for.
10. I'm just an ordinary person. I can't like everyone and I cannot expect everyone to like me.
Try your best to be with those who love you and whom you love. Be patient with the rest. But treat one and all with respect. Apologise if you go wrong or make a mistake. Express gratitude for everything anyone does for you.
11. Be dependent only on God and believe that you have the strength to live your life the way you choose.At the end of the day, your life is yours alone. How you live it is your choice. Enjoy your own company and realise that being alone does not mean being lonely. In fact, you can be your best friend.
12. Always be grateful to God for the glory that is life.
God loves you. Believe that there is always a rainbow beyond the cloud. That there's always a positive side to everything negative. That everything, every single thing in life happens for your own good, because God is the way and He is the only one, who knows better than you, what is best for you.
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