It's been a month into the new year and I finally got the time to take a look back, to reminisce over the year that's just turned the corner and to be honest I'm quite glad to see it go. It wasn't such a great year for me personally with every other day filled with more downs, or should I say shocking disappointments, than ups. Perhaps the greatest highlights of the year was the brilliant success of my daughter in her board exams, and of course the beautiful little book she made for me for Christmas. Each page citing reasons as to why she loved me so much! That is now my prized treasure. This little book in fact, gave me the very boost I'd so badly needed, for it told me in so many ways that I was needed and loved and worth being loved. It pulled me back on to my feet and taught me to look forward on to the new year with a new ray of hope.
There is a certain strength that grows within us over the years, with each test we face and overcome, but along side that there's a haunting desire to be able to depend on someone, to have that one person on whom we can weigh our trust, who is worthy of our faith and has the shoulders to bear our aches, and allow us the rest we so badly need. The joy at the belief that you've found such a person is luminous! But when that person turns out to be just another ordinary human being with selfish needs and ambitions like any other then we're left stranded yet again, groping in the dark, searching for the light at the end of the dark tunnel that had been so bright just a moment back.
2015 was without doubt a dark tunnel in my life and I'm hoping that this new year we're now in will somehow lead me to the light. I'm still groping but I'm also hoping.
One of my previous posts had been on relationships, marriages actually. And the response I'd got from so many readers was overwhelming. Almost 8 of every 10 couples I know are sadly not really happy. They aren't even compatible in most ways. But they make do with the almost non-existent little they have or they turn to the sly for a little bit of comfort. And I'm left wondering, don't they realise they have just one life? Aren't they throwing it all away just to be spared from the viciousness of society? Or for the sake of family? And eventually, at the end of the day, their lives will surely pass them by, leaving them old and helpless and extremely lonely with that one person they have never really loved.
Some claim they stick together for the sake of the children. But tell me, how are the daily arguments, the heavy angry silences, the constant tension filled atmosphere helping the kids out? Trust me children sense a lot more of the undercurrents than you would like to believe. In fact they would be grateful to come to a happy home that is in peace, though it may be sans a parent. Of course, how you go about it is what matters. Take them through the separation step by step, let them know and understand that it's what's best for all. Throwing it into their faces may be a deadly blow that they would have to bear all their lives.
We as parents give our all for our children, and forget to save a little bit for ourselves. Big mistake. Within a few years they'll sprout healthy wings and fly far far away. Then what would you be left with? A companion you don't want, and probably don't like and definitely don't love.
There are however relationships that are perhaps in not such a cancerous state. Where the partners get along well enough. There's enough of companionship and pleasant sex to keep things going. Such relationships are far more common than any other. Are they happy? Maybe. Is there love? Probably. Will they be together forever? Definitely. Are they faithful to each other? Doubtful. One or the other will want a spark on the side to light up an occasional fire. That extra bit of colour in an otherwise rather greyish existence. This spark may be everything they look forward for, but if it actually comes down to making a choice, they chicken out and opt effortlessly to that ordinary life without the spice of passion, knowingly giving up the one real chance they have at true love.
I guess all I'm trying to say is we all have just one life, so why not make the most of it? Why not try to fill it with the greatest of riches, the richness of true love? Why knowingly waste it all away on the wrong person? Only to look back with regret at the love you chose to reject because you didn't have the courage to choose what was best for you, for everyone.
Oops! Now why did I go down this road? I'd started off on a completely different topic!! Anyway, getting back to concluding what I'd actually started..
Last year as I said, had lead me through a series of very personal blows. Each blow hitting harder than the former. Believe me, there's nothing more painful than being let down. Being put in a place that was below where you thought you actually belonged. Nothing more painful than the realisation that the one you'd hoped loved and respected you the most, actually saw you to be far worse than you saw yourself! And I thought I was my worst critic! Thankfully a tiny book saved me. I won't allow myself to be crushed. I call upon the phoenix within me and pull all my strength together, determined not to let anyone undermine the value I place in myself. There's a little girl growing to a beautiful woman who looks up to me and I will never let her down. Besides I have help too.
My faith in God is great. No matter who lets me down and leaves me there, He will not let go of His grip on me. So holding on to that mighty hand, I move forward, ready and prepared to take on every punch that this year may throw in my face, for when He has me in His arms how can I possibly fall? He will lead me to the end of the tunnel, and unto that glorious light that I know I deserve. And on that note here's wishing you all and myself a wonderful blessed year ahead!!
There is a certain strength that grows within us over the years, with each test we face and overcome, but along side that there's a haunting desire to be able to depend on someone, to have that one person on whom we can weigh our trust, who is worthy of our faith and has the shoulders to bear our aches, and allow us the rest we so badly need. The joy at the belief that you've found such a person is luminous! But when that person turns out to be just another ordinary human being with selfish needs and ambitions like any other then we're left stranded yet again, groping in the dark, searching for the light at the end of the dark tunnel that had been so bright just a moment back.
2015 was without doubt a dark tunnel in my life and I'm hoping that this new year we're now in will somehow lead me to the light. I'm still groping but I'm also hoping.
One of my previous posts had been on relationships, marriages actually. And the response I'd got from so many readers was overwhelming. Almost 8 of every 10 couples I know are sadly not really happy. They aren't even compatible in most ways. But they make do with the almost non-existent little they have or they turn to the sly for a little bit of comfort. And I'm left wondering, don't they realise they have just one life? Aren't they throwing it all away just to be spared from the viciousness of society? Or for the sake of family? And eventually, at the end of the day, their lives will surely pass them by, leaving them old and helpless and extremely lonely with that one person they have never really loved.
Some claim they stick together for the sake of the children. But tell me, how are the daily arguments, the heavy angry silences, the constant tension filled atmosphere helping the kids out? Trust me children sense a lot more of the undercurrents than you would like to believe. In fact they would be grateful to come to a happy home that is in peace, though it may be sans a parent. Of course, how you go about it is what matters. Take them through the separation step by step, let them know and understand that it's what's best for all. Throwing it into their faces may be a deadly blow that they would have to bear all their lives.
We as parents give our all for our children, and forget to save a little bit for ourselves. Big mistake. Within a few years they'll sprout healthy wings and fly far far away. Then what would you be left with? A companion you don't want, and probably don't like and definitely don't love.
There are however relationships that are perhaps in not such a cancerous state. Where the partners get along well enough. There's enough of companionship and pleasant sex to keep things going. Such relationships are far more common than any other. Are they happy? Maybe. Is there love? Probably. Will they be together forever? Definitely. Are they faithful to each other? Doubtful. One or the other will want a spark on the side to light up an occasional fire. That extra bit of colour in an otherwise rather greyish existence. This spark may be everything they look forward for, but if it actually comes down to making a choice, they chicken out and opt effortlessly to that ordinary life without the spice of passion, knowingly giving up the one real chance they have at true love.
I guess all I'm trying to say is we all have just one life, so why not make the most of it? Why not try to fill it with the greatest of riches, the richness of true love? Why knowingly waste it all away on the wrong person? Only to look back with regret at the love you chose to reject because you didn't have the courage to choose what was best for you, for everyone.
Oops! Now why did I go down this road? I'd started off on a completely different topic!! Anyway, getting back to concluding what I'd actually started..
Last year as I said, had lead me through a series of very personal blows. Each blow hitting harder than the former. Believe me, there's nothing more painful than being let down. Being put in a place that was below where you thought you actually belonged. Nothing more painful than the realisation that the one you'd hoped loved and respected you the most, actually saw you to be far worse than you saw yourself! And I thought I was my worst critic! Thankfully a tiny book saved me. I won't allow myself to be crushed. I call upon the phoenix within me and pull all my strength together, determined not to let anyone undermine the value I place in myself. There's a little girl growing to a beautiful woman who looks up to me and I will never let her down. Besides I have help too.
My faith in God is great. No matter who lets me down and leaves me there, He will not let go of His grip on me. So holding on to that mighty hand, I move forward, ready and prepared to take on every punch that this year may throw in my face, for when He has me in His arms how can I possibly fall? He will lead me to the end of the tunnel, and unto that glorious light that I know I deserve. And on that note here's wishing you all and myself a wonderful blessed year ahead!!
So you believe there is something called true love, and attaining it will ultimately depend on the conscious choice of an individual?
ReplyDeleteHello, yes I do believe strongly in true love and I do believe that there are so many who have been lucky enough to have experience such love, and if it's with their partner then the luckier they are! Am not sure love can be attained on conscious choice though. All I feel is if you finally realise that the person you're with is not 'the one' for you, then you should probably move on, cos the right person for you may be out there. These are just my random thoughts. To each your own! Cheers!!
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DeleteRight. As long as we are driven by the urge to find completion in an other person, the search for 'the one' will continue. Of course, mere common sense will reveal that such a search will always be futile, even when we, at a given point, are convinced that we have found our true love. Indeed people should move out of abusive relationships. But the great majority of relationships are rooted in inflated egos, driven by antiquated moral standards and tossed around in false pretensions and unrealistic expectations. Maintaining healthy relationships is a life-long activity. It is also a life-long passion.
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