There's never been a moment in all my life that I've ever regretted being a woman. I've had a lot of regrets over a lot of things over the years, but this was definitely not one. In fact I have always enjoyed every bit of my, well, for want of a better word, womanhood.
When both my daughters were born I had wept tears of joy. Not once did I ever wish for a boy. And I have no regrets about this either. Rather, they're the biggest blessings I've ever been gifted with and I cherish them more than life.
Now, on this so called day celebrating women, while my mailboxes and social accounts pile up with posts and forwards praising the greatness of the feminine, some genuine but most screaming sarcasm, I feel I need to speak up, for myself and for other women.
We don't need a special day just for us, cos come on, is that all we're worth?? We need every day to be special, just as every day needs to be special for every one.
Women deserve respect and appreciation if and when earned. Just as with anyone else.
Not just because we give birth or cook or keep house or work 8 hour shifts, but for all of it and more. Women are the best multi-taskers. We've proved over and over again that we can lead, we can teach and we can achieve. We deserve to be loved for the love we lavish out unconditionally. To our men, our children, our friends, and yes, to ourselves. We are a loyal and committed breed and I'm sure there isn't a man out there who doesn't have a woman he has fond memories of, be it his mother, lover or daughter.
Thankfully I've been blessed with the presence of several kind men in my life, my husband included, who allow me the freedom to spread my wings and soar, who smile when I succeed and who gently help me get back to my feet when I stumble or fall.
To me that's the greatest support a woman could ever ask for.
Through my career, I've met many a man who clearly displays his despicable ego especially against women and though it often confused me at first, I soon realised that he was merely attempting to cover up his own incompetence and insecurities when faced with the stark reality that a woman was probably better at the job than he could ever be.
And such is the case for most working women.
Luckily I've also know some great guys, some I'm fortunate enough to work for and with, who are comfortable enough in their successes and abilities, who are open minded and large hearted and most of all who acknowledge your talents and appreciate your intelligence, not because you're a woman but because you're a capable person.
Unfortunately some men, though apparently mature enough to know better, still find it irksome to admit that a woman could possibly know better. They choose to argue, to admonish and to oppose women who speak their minds merely because they feel belittled by the knowledge that a woman could actually teach them a thing or two.
In fact one person I know argues on every point I tend to mention, not because he knows better but because he's ashamed that he doesn't. I attribute his stupidity to the fact that he's lived all his life in a small town, may have a lot of money but has hardly travelled or read enough to know better and therefore can't help his cheap arrogance. However I must confess that it vexes me no end, especially when I know I'm right but the decency within me forces me to suffer his ego, more so when he claims to know me yet obviously knows nothing at all.
Still, I'm quite happy to say that many of my best and closest friends are men. Men have taken the effort to encourage me and push me on every time I've stalled. Men have taken the time and have had the patience to deal with my tantrums and tears every time I've needed a shoulder to cry on or a head to scream at. Plainly put, men understand me better.
Unfortunately not every woman is as lucky.
I've seen many an educated and intelligent woman forced into submission by men who think no end of themselves, merely to keep peace in the family.
It's sad.
Women have been denounced as the weaker sex for so long that some have come to terms with it.
So many women are forced to continue in unhappy marriages because they are convinced that without a partner they will never survive.
Many women are bursting with talents and desires but have to suppress it all because it does not please the man of the house.
Father, brother, husband, one after the other, the Indian woman has to bow her head to the wishes of the men in her life, before her own. Whether she likes it or not, whether she wants to or not.
Permissions are needed even to go for a movie or a simple lunch outing. They're so used to it that it's a way of life now.
There had been a time when I was very young, when I had literally been under lockdown and not allowed out alone much. Thankfully marriage, kids and a great job changed all that.
At times some women are even unluckier than the rest.
Sometimes her femininity is her curse and she has to suffer the inhumane humiliation of being overwhelmed physically and violated violently.
If only all men would understand and accept that a woman is much more than just a body. But that's a whole other topic for another day and another post.
Now you'd think that women would appreciate women the most. Not really.
I'm forced to say that of the few who have stabbed me in the back some were, sadly, women. However I am grateful to them, for because of them I've grown stronger and wiser.
But I wish to give due credit to my own spirit for the person I've become.
Despite the attitude of the society I live in, despite the hostility and suspicion I'm often forced to face and at times from family and friends even, I have still succeeded to be selfish enough to live a life for myself. And I confess that it is the strength of my deep faith that has brought me this far.
Thankfully in today's day and age many recognise the worth of the woman.
I hope that when my daughters are grown capable adults, they would be treated with respect, they would be appreciated for their talents and skills, and they would be loved for the beautiful loving souls that they are and not just on days designated for women. But most of all, I hope they appreciate themselves, and they realise the beauty of being a woman.
When both my daughters were born I had wept tears of joy. Not once did I ever wish for a boy. And I have no regrets about this either. Rather, they're the biggest blessings I've ever been gifted with and I cherish them more than life.Now, on this so called day celebrating women, while my mailboxes and social accounts pile up with posts and forwards praising the greatness of the feminine, some genuine but most screaming sarcasm, I feel I need to speak up, for myself and for other women.
We don't need a special day just for us, cos come on, is that all we're worth?? We need every day to be special, just as every day needs to be special for every one.
Women deserve respect and appreciation if and when earned. Just as with anyone else.
Not just because we give birth or cook or keep house or work 8 hour shifts, but for all of it and more. Women are the best multi-taskers. We've proved over and over again that we can lead, we can teach and we can achieve. We deserve to be loved for the love we lavish out unconditionally. To our men, our children, our friends, and yes, to ourselves. We are a loyal and committed breed and I'm sure there isn't a man out there who doesn't have a woman he has fond memories of, be it his mother, lover or daughter.
Thankfully I've been blessed with the presence of several kind men in my life, my husband included, who allow me the freedom to spread my wings and soar, who smile when I succeed and who gently help me get back to my feet when I stumble or fall.
To me that's the greatest support a woman could ever ask for.Through my career, I've met many a man who clearly displays his despicable ego especially against women and though it often confused me at first, I soon realised that he was merely attempting to cover up his own incompetence and insecurities when faced with the stark reality that a woman was probably better at the job than he could ever be.
And such is the case for most working women.
Luckily I've also know some great guys, some I'm fortunate enough to work for and with, who are comfortable enough in their successes and abilities, who are open minded and large hearted and most of all who acknowledge your talents and appreciate your intelligence, not because you're a woman but because you're a capable person.
Unfortunately some men, though apparently mature enough to know better, still find it irksome to admit that a woman could possibly know better. They choose to argue, to admonish and to oppose women who speak their minds merely because they feel belittled by the knowledge that a woman could actually teach them a thing or two.
In fact one person I know argues on every point I tend to mention, not because he knows better but because he's ashamed that he doesn't. I attribute his stupidity to the fact that he's lived all his life in a small town, may have a lot of money but has hardly travelled or read enough to know better and therefore can't help his cheap arrogance. However I must confess that it vexes me no end, especially when I know I'm right but the decency within me forces me to suffer his ego, more so when he claims to know me yet obviously knows nothing at all.
Still, I'm quite happy to say that many of my best and closest friends are men. Men have taken the effort to encourage me and push me on every time I've stalled. Men have taken the time and have had the patience to deal with my tantrums and tears every time I've needed a shoulder to cry on or a head to scream at. Plainly put, men understand me better.
Unfortunately not every woman is as lucky.
It's sad.
Women have been denounced as the weaker sex for so long that some have come to terms with it.
So many women are forced to continue in unhappy marriages because they are convinced that without a partner they will never survive.
Many women are bursting with talents and desires but have to suppress it all because it does not please the man of the house.
Father, brother, husband, one after the other, the Indian woman has to bow her head to the wishes of the men in her life, before her own. Whether she likes it or not, whether she wants to or not.
Permissions are needed even to go for a movie or a simple lunch outing. They're so used to it that it's a way of life now.
There had been a time when I was very young, when I had literally been under lockdown and not allowed out alone much. Thankfully marriage, kids and a great job changed all that.
At times some women are even unluckier than the rest.
Sometimes her femininity is her curse and she has to suffer the inhumane humiliation of being overwhelmed physically and violated violently.
If only all men would understand and accept that a woman is much more than just a body. But that's a whole other topic for another day and another post.
I'm forced to say that of the few who have stabbed me in the back some were, sadly, women. However I am grateful to them, for because of them I've grown stronger and wiser.
Despite the attitude of the society I live in, despite the hostility and suspicion I'm often forced to face and at times from family and friends even, I have still succeeded to be selfish enough to live a life for myself. And I confess that it is the strength of my deep faith that has brought me this far.
Thankfully in today's day and age many recognise the worth of the woman.
I hope that when my daughters are grown capable adults, they would be treated with respect, they would be appreciated for their talents and skills, and they would be loved for the beautiful loving souls that they are and not just on days designated for women. But most of all, I hope they appreciate themselves, and they realise the beauty of being a woman.
